This question ” Sapa nak jaga hang bila dah tua?” is the most repeated one after “Bila nak kawin?”. Both questions are the standard queries each time I visited my relatives in kampung. It sickened me so much that I had to ask my mother to shield these questions the best ability that she could master.
To tell you the truth, Yes I am worry about it too, about who is going to take care of me when I am old, haggard, alone and less healthy. It is a worrying thought.
The same question also left me with a stamping thought on the nawaitu of having a child. Do we want children because the need of someone to take care of us when we are old? Is there any sincerity in wanting children to fulfill one of the obligations in fardhu ain or simply we need these investments to grow, bear fruits for us to enjoy an easy life later in our golden years?
In this sense, I believe the European people are more sincere. To them, when the children have left the nest, they are left alone to defend for themselves and they expect no help from their children (vice versa). Unlike here in asia, typically the Malays…we are so cocoon to the old believe that the children are obligated to take care of their elders. I cannot really blame them as the religion has stated, dictated the same obligatory instruction to care for the elders.
Seeing on telly, those sad sob drama series about the ungrateful people who abandoned their responsibility to their elders being punished by God with multitude of diseases, slow death and depiction of godly retribution by narrowing of burial ground and flooding at the same time, bloody coffin and swamped with flies; whilst the sky was darkened, lighting strikes has indeed made a scary impression about leaving our parents on their own.
Maybe now while I am still young and very independence, this problem seems distance and should be pushed aside. Still, at the very corner of my thought…I have a lingering feeling that my golden years is going to be a very lonely one. Money may not buys everything but in the old days, money is still commanding some friendship and could be used to buy some companionships too (as what it does now). Maybe, my “anak saudara” who are very dear to me now would simply trying to be nice to their old uncle then for sake of me passing on some heirlooms or whatever “harta” I may have to them. Still, money is the key for smoother passage to the greying years.
The problem is, money is hard to come by and greying has started taking its root. Should I by now…swallow my pride about the sincerity of having a child? Should I rekindle the thought of getting married for the sake of having a baby for future investment? Must I not to think that far ahead?