My Beautiful Malaysia

Malaysians can really live anywhere and thriving.

We are the worst drivers but that can be an advantage in a foreign country. Most of us are equipped with a built-in mind reader that allows us to know that the car on the next lane is about to cross, jump and cut queue , to avoid that we push the pedal and let our cars bumper to bumper with car in front of us.

When traveling on the plane, grab as much peanuts as we can from the basket. We have learnt the art of asking freebies without having to feel shame. Take all…The Star, NST, Berita, SinChew, Nanyang even for a flight that less than 4o minutes. Even as the last person to board, shamelessly ask the crew ” No more paper arr?”.

Malaysians are great at bargain hunting. Even those China men are defeated with the skill of Malaysian women in getting the lowest prices on the purchases. More and more Malaysians have learnt to be extra kiasu…at  buffets and open houses, take as much and “tapau” home if tummy is full.

They sweet talked those at check-in counters to allow extra baggage into the plane. They even tricked the police traffic by claiming that they have to rush home because the grandmother is about to give birth. If that failed, looking for a driving license by flipping through warts cash. It worked every time.

Malays are mostly muslims. Police officers are mostly Malays, so give “salam” and it soothes the men right away and spare yourself a ticket.

Short of cash? Just go out side the house and take a look at any lamp-post. Surely there are money lenders’ contacts plastered every where. Even if your manhood has failed you. Just look around the post…there is Viagra on home delivery. If body aches bothering you…a massage service is also available 24-7. All on that humble lamp-post.

You can open a food stall every where even in front of public toilets. People are still buying your food.

If you wish to make money by operating a public toilets. You do not have to worry about supplying water through the taps…most Malaysians just walk away without having their hands washed.

Hair salon is good business. Many Malaysian Chinese regardless of gender colored their hair every other day.

If you were to throw a stone to a group of police, surely it landed on the Malay guy. Other races are not so keen to be a police man.

If you see a man’s hand without seeing his face, and his finger nails are long…surely that hand belongs to a Chinese. A big chunky yellow gold both necklaces and bracelets are mostly favored by Indian guys and the Malays are keen on those chunky silver type.

What else?


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