The ass’ wiper

Quite recently I read an article by Mary Schneider in her weekly post of ‘But Then Again” and she touched a little on toilet paper.She wrote on her ungrateful house guest who presented her with ten rolls of toilet paper as a token of his appreciation for her hospitality. Poor her.

I realized that, as a Muslim Malay I have never paid any attention to this humble toilet’s amenity. It has never been on my shopping lists and those holders in my bath rooms are both left hanging without any paper in them.

For the Malays when we built houses, we have never thought of having these holders fixed onto the bathroom’s wall. We found no desire or the need to have one. The urban and modern generations would argue that they wanted this feature to be included in the overall design of their toilets but the majority of my race would rather save that part as a mere furnishing. And to actually use the paper is very unlikely.

Mary has also described the quality of this toilet paper and to my dismay of ignorance, I have no idea that people are actually concern on the type and quality of this bottom’s wipe.

I had however manage to see the ugly and the infamous toilets in Shanghai before they modernize the city. Newspaper cuttings the size of a dollar bill were punched and hooked to the toilet’s wall.

I have heard stories about the condition of toilets in China before. It struck me butt naked when I experienced once.

I really had to do my “business” there otherwise I did not dare to even venture in. The toilet cubicles have no doors and there were people answering their calls,squatting and reading newspaper in a very casual manner and no qualm of people walking past by.The toilet operators have saved thousands of Yuan by using the discarded newspaper as toilet paper.

We too, in Malaysia have experienced indecent practice of having toilet paper on the tables at food stalls. The food operators here in Malaysia have saved quite a few ringgits by using toilet paper in a place of table napkin. When you compare this practice of those in China and our fellow Malaysians, who do you think are more ingenious or at least seemed to be more hygienic?

For many years, I hardly had my meal at these roadside stalls. Are they still using the toilet paper for the diners to wipe their mouths?

We are still fooled by some well established restaurateurs regard to the proper usage of toilet paper. They use these folded type ass’ wipes and nicely placed them inside a special container and put it on the dining table. A rose by any or whatever name is still a rose but in this case, it is a disgusting method of cost saving!

How to tell whether or not that soft tissue is indeed a toilet paper or the grand old serviette the next time you visit your favorite restaurants? I have no idea but my suspicion is quite telling.


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